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Perhaps I could blame it on that.I told Ginny about my confrontation with Howard. She scolded me for being so careless. She knew of my desire to take a lover. She does not approve. She warned me that Howard would never accept it. She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I can have my wonderful husband and another man on the side? I don't understand myself. It's not like I haven't had the experience of other men before Howard and I met. I know the difference. I know how much better Howard is than other men. What is driving me to the edge of this cliff?Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I do need psychiatric help. Maybe it does have to do with menopause. Too many questions. Too much confusion. I won't solve these questions lying in bed. It was time to get up and shower. Eat something. Think about what I want to say tonight. Be prepared.. He basically had enough of the killing, he'd miss his fellow brothers but he was now 28 years old, had done his 10 years and wanted out.I caught him up on my life, told him about Kelly and also the connection to Doug Peterson. We had a laugh about Susan marrying the prick. By now it was dark so I cooked us something to eat and we talked some more.He looked at the wedding photos and he sudddenly had a strange look on his face."Holy shit that's General Bates". I asked him how he knew him he told me he was his commander when he first joined Special Forces. He said he was a tough old bird and they got on quite well at the time. I told him a bit about Kelly's family and asked him if he knew Mrs Bates.He said not that well with a smirk. I asked some more apparently Mrs Bates knew a lot of the General's Officers in the bibicial sense. My jaw dropped I couldn't believe the stuck up old bitch was a common whore. He said that was one of the main reasons the General retired as he had to get her.
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